You can learn much from just watching
others. Years ago, I found myself in my
first encounter with an Asian style of debate, a kind of rhetorical
sandwich. It was at a large round table
in the conference table at the World Health Organization’s regional
headquarters in Manila, the capital of The Philippines. It was a gathering of deans and professors
from several universities throughout Asia and the Pacific in discussions on how
to collaborate in research and training in public health and community
medicine. I was a young University of
Hawaii professor at the table respectfully watching and listening to my elder
academics.
What I observed has guided my work ever
since. The give and take of the group’s
conversation was often like a series of sword fights. Two esteemed deans would joust back and forth
on opposite sides of an argument, but they would do it so very politely, with
respectful acknowledgement of each other, but not without forcefully making
their points and holding their positions.
Every time someone would pick-up the sword of argument, they would begin
their comments with the most kind and affirming statements about their verbal
opponent. The rhetoric was so lovely
that you would think they were the very best of friends. Then they would attack. The thrust of their argument, aimed at the
heart of the other’s position, was struck without mercy. Nothing was held back with intent to destroy
their opponent’s reasoning and emerge the victor. Then, to my surprise, they immediately
returned to a lavish outpouring of
sincere compliments and effusive praise of the person whose position they had
just eviscerated. What happened next? Their opponent would return the favor and repeat the pattern: unabated praise and affirmation (bread),
unabashed, devastating argument (meat), and then more unreserved praise and sincere affirmation (another slice of bread).
That was the Asian rhetorical sandwich.
I subsequently experienced the same sandwich style in correspondence: first affirmation, second the tough news, and then a closing with affirmation. It seemed to say “I love and respect you, but here’s what needs to change, and yet I still love you.” I learned over the years that beginning and ending with affirmation helps the reader or listener feel less threatened by the core message.
After all the years later I am wiser thanks to my Asian colleagues. As a westerner (American) back then, they surprised me. I was accustomed to a culturally different approach. In the American style of Wyatt Earp I expected a shoot-out at the OK Corral with scowling faces and shots aimed at the heart. In reflection the Asian sandwich of debate held critically helpful elements of dignity and grace.
 |
| Joshua |
“As I was with Moses, so I will be with
you: I will never leave you nor forsake
you. Be strong and courageous
because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their
forefathers to give them. Be strong and
courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the
left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Do not let the Book of the Law depart from your
mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do
everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you: Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified. Do not be discouraged for the
Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
The sandwich pattern God still uses is
first affirmation, then clear, firm message of direction and expectation, and
finally affirmation again. Even the meat
of the message is love, often tough love.
By a close reading of the Gospel of John, chapters 14, 15, and 16, we
find Jesus engaging the same elements and pattern of affirmation, direction,
and affirmation. It is a pattern throughout
scripture and fits with the overarching pattern of how God draws us into
increasing intimacy with him. God affirms through grace. He shows his love and waits for an obedient
response. Then he affirms our obedient faith with more grace. It’s a dynamic, interpersonal relationship of
interactive love. Praise be to God!
His grace has no
limits, his love has no measure,
His love no
boundaries known unto man,
For out of His
infinite riches in Jesus,
He giveth, and
giveth, and giveth again.
Annie Johnson Flint (1866-1932)
No comments:
Post a Comment