HEALING BROKEN RELATIONSHIPS

A broken relationship is a problem that faces everyone at some time.  We are fallen creatures.  We disappoint and are let down by others.  We betray and others are likewise unfaithful to us.  Trust and mistrust are difficult to juggle when the relationship becomes uncertain.  By the time it is clear that the relationship has gone on the rocks or over the cliff, the harm has been reciprocal.  The relationship crashes and one or more persons are wounded.  The hurt goes deep and lasts a long time, sometimes a lifetime.  Bitterness sets in and festers. Memories become painful and nagging.  The tape of wrong doing is played over and over.  Guilt or bitterness lingers and peace seems impossible.  Is peace and healing of the memories possible?

This is the question that must be asked if there is to be any change for the better.  Three Rs in rebuilding the relationship are necessary.  First is the difficult but essential act of Repentance for one’s part in the failure.  This is not just saying I’m sorry.  Regret may be real, but regret is not enough.  Repentance is saying I was headed in the wrong direction in the relationship.  I turn, change from the wrong way and pursue the right one.  It may be a 180 degree turn, but it is essential.  The old way must be surrendered. 

The second step is Reconciliation.  When two things or people are reconciled they are brought back together.  The relationship is restored to its former self before the break.  There is a renewal of the relationship as it was intended in the first place.  Things are set right between the two to each one’s benefit and satisfaction.  Peace once again reigns and healing is made possible.

The third step is a greater Restoration to righteousness.  Righteousness is right living.  The door of restoration is opened by reconciliation.  The potential originally possible from the relationship is now possible again.  The restoration of hope and progress is beyond what was realized before the break.  It is a restoration of actualizing something greater.  The healing and recovery is a process of perfecting the relationship, of growing together beyond what was possible in the past.

These three steps are difficult to take with others when we are harmed and hurting, when there has been unfaithfulness and good reason for loss of trust.  But for deep restoration, someone must act.  That’s exactly what Christ did for us on the cross.  He took the first step by taking on our sin so we might be reconciled to God and restored to our ultimate potential.  That is the restoration of the image of God in us,  to be like him in holiness and purity of heart.  It is a process of repentance, reconciliation, and restoration to righteousness, then being perfected by the Holy Spirit more and more each day.