There was a time in childhood when one of the hardest things in life was to
say “sorry” to someone I offended or harmed, usually one of my brothers.
My parents would order me to say the word that seemed stuck in my
throat. Then as children as now with adults, “Sorry” was often mistaken at
that moment as an apology. It’s not an
apology. It’s an expression of regret for a long list of reasons:
I’m sorry I got caught; I’m sorry I’m to blame; I’m sorry you’re angry
at me; I’m sorry I got myself into this situation; and I’m sorry I hurt
you. It’s hard saying it because of
pride. Even when we finally say it, it’s
not enough. It doesn’t guarantee that it
won’t happen again. In “sorry” there is
no check against future misbehavior or harm.
What’s needed is not regret, but repentance.
Repentance is a good thing. It's a new beginning. It is making a complete change; it’s a 180-degree turn going in the
opposite direction and not looking or going back. It’s going in the direction that Christ is
going. It is a matter of the will. It is moving away from the self-will that runs
contrary to the love of God. It is aligning self-will to Christ’s will
which is always loving and kind. John
Wesley puts it like this:
Sooner or later after
he is justified, the believer feels self-will, a will contrary to the will of
God. Now a will is an essential part of
the nature of every intelligent being, even our blessed Lord Himself. But His human will was always subject to the
will of His Father. The case with even
true believers in Christ is that they frequently find their will more or less
exalting their self-will with all their might, and thus they continue in the
faith.
But self-will, as well
as pride, is a species of idolatry. Both
are directly contrary to the love of God, as is the love of the world. . . If
one does not continually watch and pray, he feels the strongest urges toward
loving the creature (self) more than the Creator . . . (In the pursuit of one’s self will) he is
prone to forget God. And for this, even
the true believer needs to repent.[1]
“Sorry” is not enough. When it’s only “sorry,” it’s a good
sign that the self-will is out of alignment with the God’s will. It's time to change and to walk with him in loving-kindness and in the strength He provides to confess,
repent, follow Christ in the direction of loving kindness, and forgive.
[1] Renew My Heart:
John Wesley, (Barbour Publishing: Uhrichsville, Ohio), 2011,
pp.214&215.
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