Thursday, May 15, 2014

SAYING "SORRY" IS NOT ENOUGH

There was a time in childhood when one of the hardest things in life was to say “sorry” to someone I offended or harmed, usually one of my brothers.  My parents would order me to say the word that seemed stuck in my throat.  Then as children as now with adults, “Sorry” was often mistaken at that moment as an  apology.  It’s not an apology.  It’s an expression of regret for a long list of reasons:  I’m sorry I got caught; I’m sorry I’m to blame; I’m sorry you’re angry at me; I’m sorry I got myself into this situation; and I’m sorry I hurt you.  It’s hard saying it because of pride.  Even when we finally say it, it’s not enough.  It doesn’t guarantee that it won’t happen again.  In “sorry” there is no check against future misbehavior or harm.  What’s needed is not regret, but repentance.

Repentance is a good thing.  It's a new beginning.  It is making a complete change; it’s a 180-degree turn going in the opposite direction and not looking or going back.  It’s going in the direction that Christ is going. It is a matter of the will. It is moving away from the self-will that runs contrary to the love of God. It is aligning self-will to Christ’s will which is always loving and kind.  John Wesley puts it like this:

Sooner or later after he is justified, the believer feels self-will, a will contrary to the will of God.  Now a will is an essential part of the nature of every intelligent being, even our blessed Lord Himself.  But His human will was always subject to the will of His Father.  The case with even true believers in Christ is that they frequently find their will more or less exalting their self-will with all their might, and thus they continue in the faith.

But self-will, as well as pride, is a species of idolatry.  Both are directly contrary to the love of God, as is the love of the world. . . If one does not continually watch and pray, he feels the strongest urges toward loving the creature (self) more than the Creator . . .  (In the pursuit of one’s self will) he is prone to forget God.  And for this, even the true believer needs to repent.[1]

“Sorry” is not enough. When it’s only “sorry,” it’s a good sign that the self-will is out of alignment with the God’s will.  It's time to change and to walk with him in loving-kindness and in the strength He provides to confess, repent, follow Christ in the direction of loving kindness, and forgive.

[1] Renew My Heart: John Wesley, (Barbour Publishing: Uhrichsville, Ohio), 2011, pp.214&215.





No comments:

Post a Comment